beliefs about money

My early beliefs about money

I grew up in a poor family. My parents were always short on money. I dreamt about lego but got only the smallest one once a year. I dressed like a beggar, and because that, I felt uncomfortable and unconfident at school.

I was embarrassed to invite my friends home because the flat was so old, dark, and cold. A renovation had been made 30 years before. Our flat was on the first floor above the damp, humid basement. There was mold all over our flat.  

I had never invited any girl home!

Indeed, I visited my friends’ flats, and they were bright, cozy warm, and beautiful. I dreamt of living in such a flat.

The absence of money caused me so much emotional pain.

My mom tried her best to earn money to afford a better lifestyle for us

I remember the time when my mom applied for a second job. She left at 8 AM and came back home at 11 PM. I happily ran up to her and saw ultimate fatigue on her face. She was dead tired.

Since then, I understood 2 things about money “Its tough to earn money!”, Money drains all your energy.” These were my money beliefs.

And still, we didn’t have enough money, even considering the fact that my mom had 2 jobs!!!

  • We didnt have enough money
  • My dreams wont come true because my mom didn’t have money. So, you’d better let go of your dreams.

I love my father so much! He brought me to personal development and showed me my way in life. But he was an alcoholic. Every time he got money, he bought booze and came home drunk. He drank away all his salary, or somebody stole money from him because he was drunk.

My mom and my dad had lots of quarrels. Mom told my dad they had a child (me) and had to provide me with a good education and a good future.

The day my father got his salary was extremely stressful because I knew he would buy booze and come home drunk, and there would be a quarrel.

My mind created a belief “a payday is a bad day” and “receiving money causes us pain.”

When my father wanted to buy some booze, and he didn’t have money, he might steal something from home and sell it. Craving for money made him mad. He could have hit my mom if she didn’t give him money.

I believed, that money could transform a person to a real monster.

Do you see how much pain money or the absence of money brought us?

So, my mind concluded that money is evil, so you’d better keep yourself away from money!

And of course “All the problems were because of money”.

How did my father, uncle, and grandfather lose their money

After the crash of the Soviet Union, there were no jobs, no rules, and no laws. Everybody was free to make money, legal or illegal. Sales businesses prospered at that time. You could buy something cheap abroad, bring it to Ukraine and sell it tenfold.

My father, uncle, and grandfather decided to buy cigarettes abroad, transfer them to Ukraine and sell it in our city, making 10x  profit.

I clearly remember those big bright boxes of cigarettes, “President” and “LM.”

The business thrived. There was more than enough money in our family. It seemed my parents were happy.

Till the day Х came…

I remember my grandfather ran into our home scared and very disturbed. I found out that all the boxes of cigarettes were stolen.

That was a tragedy. There was $7000 in cigarettes. It was the value of a small flat at that time.

Since then, nobody has recovered emotionally.

Money is evil.

Earning money is dangerous. Even if you earn good money, you can lose it and become dead broke.

Money wont make you happy. For some time, you can be happy, but eventually, youll end up losing everything.

Those beliefs were formed in my childing mind.

The first time I watched the Titanic movie

When I was in the 8th grade, our’s head teacher organized a trip to the cinema for the entire class, so we watched the Titanic movie.

Wow, I loved the main character Jack. He was a poor guy but so charming and pleasant. He was so funny, and I remember how he was dancing on the table. He was so courageous and loving; he even sacrificed himself for his love for the heroine Rose. I cried at that moment because he was such a good guy!

On the opposite side is Cal, Rose’s arrogant, rich fiance. Till today I remember how he wanted to steal a kid from the mom and get into the boat to save his ass. What a bastard he was!

I was raised and educated as a good person. So many times in my past, I watched or heard about people who had chosen money and got spoiled.

I chose to be a good guy! I’d better be poor, but I was willing to be a good and honest guy!

In my childhood, I was shown so much evidence that money made people ruthless and arrogant.

I disliked rich people and money after the movie. I told myself if money was going to make me such an arrogant and unlikeable person, I’d better be poor all my life.

I blamed money, saying that it made people bad. It was not only about the movie, in my childhood, but I also heard lots of stories about how money corrupts people. I saw that happened with my day when we wanted to buy booze, and he didn’t have money. He was ready to do everything to get money.

The first time I was rejected

When I was in the 10th grade, I liked one girl. She was from a rich family; she was beautiful and very clever. Every morning her parent’s driver brought her to school by BMW X5. This car was luxurious and very rare in our city at that time. 

Every winter, she spent at luxurious mountain resorts in Austria and Switzerland skiing. Every summer, she had vacations in the Maldives, Seychelles, the Caribbean, and Cote d’Azur.

Once upon a time, I decided to invite her to the cinema and tell her I loved her.

Fair enough, she refused, but her words I remember as if it was yesterday. She told me: “Sasha, you know it’s impossible.” I answered, “Yes, I do know.”

I was in depression.

I blamed the money! I decided that she had refused me because I was poor. Of course, she was searching for a rich fiance. I loathed my poverty, money, and my life.

To be loved, you must have money! That belief was formed in my mind. Was that a true belief? You’ll find out later.

Lets sum up all the negative beliefs I got regarding money

  1. I am poor. Poverty is my normal reality.
  2. There is always a lack of money.
  3. Money is an evil!
  4. Keep yourself away from money.
  5. All the problems because of money
  6. There is no sense to dream, anyway you don’t have money to buy it.
  7. Even if you earn plenty amount of money, eventually you will lose it.
  8. It’s very hard to earn money.
  9. Money drains all your energy.
  10. Money can transform a person to a real monster
  11. Money won’t make you happy.
  12. Rich people are bad. I’d better be poor and happy.
  13. Money causes lots of pain
  14. Money corrupts people
  15. I won’t be loved if I don’t have the money

That was what I believed regarding money. Are these beliefs motivating? Will they help me earn money when I grow up?

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